So I did a little social experiment a few months ago. I went to my youth group, where I don't have too many friends, and decided to see how many people would approach me. If you know me, you know I am usually the one to approach people, so this was quite abnormal for me, but I wanted to see what would happen.
I walked in with my phone, sat in a corner, but still in a place where people could clearly see me, and waited. I didn't talk, I didn't wave to anyone, I just sat, and watched as the people passed me by.
Five minutes pass and no one has approached me. But I'm not too worried. It hadn't been that long, the youth room was still fairly empty, and most of the kids that were in there were the ones that were already shy.
Fifteen minutes pass and the room is packed. I haven't gotten so much as a passing glance. Now I'm getting a little worried, and, if I'm being completely honest, I was getting very insecure. "Am I intimidating? Does no one like me? Am i really that unapproachable?!". At this point, I have resorted to playing on my phone.
Twenty minutes pass... nothing. I'm still playing on my phone, waiting to get a text back from my friend whom I was hoping to talk to so I wouldn't be so lonely.
Twenty-five minutes pass... still nothing. No one has looked at me, no one has waved to me, no one has even given me a quick, awkward smile.
Twenty-eight minutes and someone finally approaches me! "Hey, what are you doing over here all alone? You should be out there, having fun," the boy said, I knew this kid. His name was Reid, and because he was the only person who approached me in the entire half-hour I was sitting there, I think he's awesome.
In church, you're always told that the congregation should be a family, a community, people should look out for one another, include one another... THEN HOW COME IN THE MIDDLE OF FLIPPIN' CHURCH I WAS ONLY APPROACHED BY ONE PERSON?!?!
This really pissed me off. Why am I sitting all alone in a corner, freaking SURROUNDED by at least 100 other people my age and only 1 of those people comes over to talk to me?! Why is our church so divided and clique-y?! Yes, having a group of good friends that you hang out with is fine, encouraged, even. But, I don't think it's fair that I was sitting alone for 30 minutes while everyone else was socializing. Look me in the eye and tell me there's not something wrong with that.
Why is our church so divided when Jesus is supposed to bring us together?
Friday, July 7, 2017
Friday, June 30, 2017
Why do you write like that?
Writing. A mode of creativity and catharsis I enjoy partaking in. It's a way to get your feelings out, calm your busy brain down, or rev it up. But sometimes, writing can get a bit morbid. Why am I bringing up writing? Because sometimes, that's how I write.
Now, I don't mean I write emo poetry or suicide notes as a joke, I mean that I write about adult subjects and situations (drugs, abuse, rape, mental illness, death, etc...).
I was at Masterpiece this past week and they had a creative writing mini workshop that I attended. It was just a one-hour class, but I figured it would be an hour of my time well spent.
In this little class, we were focusing on character creation; we were to find an object in the room and quickly base a character off of that item. For example, my friend created a chemist character because of some burlap she saw, another girl wrote an altered timeline story based off a can of Mountain Dew. Me? I based it off a necklace I was wearing and a bracelet the instructor was wearing.
I created a character named Boaz. He has an abusive mother and his father committed suicide. He also has autism. His best friend, Priscilla, likes to play music with him since they both play a couple instruments. Boaz tries to be out of the house and away from his mom as much as possible. His favorite places to be are in the park at night when it's quiet, cool, and dark, and the peaceful coffee shop down the street.
As you can see, I wrote a couple morbid things into this character: an abusive parent, a mental handicap, a dead parent, and suicide.
There's another character I have, Ruby, that I've been developing for over a year now, and lemme tell ya, she has quite a tragic story.
She has anxiety, depression, and PTSD. She was conceived by rape so she never knew her father, and her mother died when she was quite young. Not only was she conceived by rape, but she was also sexually and physically abused all throughout college. But there was one major event in Ruby's life that really made me realize how gruesome my writing can be.
I send Ruby's story to my friend, Kiana, because I ain't publishing this story online, but I ain't keeping it to myself neither. Kiana loves it! She also went to Masterpiece this past week and also attended the creative writing workshop.
As the class was sharing about their characters they had created, Kiana brought Ruby up and how relatable she felt Ruby was. But she also brought up the fact that Ruby's child was killed before it was born. Long story short, Ruby was pregnant but got stabbed in the stomach, therefore killing the baby.
When Kiana told the instructor this, the instructor, a published author, gasped and looked at me in horror! Luckily, the conversation turned away from my morbid writing, thus saving me some embarrassment. Now, I'm not saying Kiana embarrassed me, I love the fact that she loves my story so much she wanted to share it! What embarrassed me was the fact that the instructor was disgusted by my story line.
But this got me thinking, "why do I write like this?". Why do I write characters that have attempted suicide? Why do I write characters that have eating disorders? Why do I write characters that are handicapped? Let me tell you.
I know how powerful a fictional character can be. I mean, I'm writing a series on the power of characters and publishing it here on my blog! But I think one of the most powerful aspects of fictional characters, is their ability to make us emotionally connect with them.
Why do we connect with them? Have you been reading my blog posts?! We relate to characters because we see ourselves in them. And that's exactly why I write morbidly. I want someone with autism to read my story and go "hey, they're like me,". I want someone who has had their child die read my story and say, "Wow, she went through that too,". I want someone with depression to read my story and say, "they have hope, so do I,".
I write morbidly, not so I can gross people out or start a national controversy, but so people in bad situations have a character they can look at and say, "wow, they're just like me and they made it out okay, and so will I,". It's to give people with no light, hope.
Now, I don't mean I write emo poetry or suicide notes as a joke, I mean that I write about adult subjects and situations (drugs, abuse, rape, mental illness, death, etc...).
I was at Masterpiece this past week and they had a creative writing mini workshop that I attended. It was just a one-hour class, but I figured it would be an hour of my time well spent.
In this little class, we were focusing on character creation; we were to find an object in the room and quickly base a character off of that item. For example, my friend created a chemist character because of some burlap she saw, another girl wrote an altered timeline story based off a can of Mountain Dew. Me? I based it off a necklace I was wearing and a bracelet the instructor was wearing.
I created a character named Boaz. He has an abusive mother and his father committed suicide. He also has autism. His best friend, Priscilla, likes to play music with him since they both play a couple instruments. Boaz tries to be out of the house and away from his mom as much as possible. His favorite places to be are in the park at night when it's quiet, cool, and dark, and the peaceful coffee shop down the street.
As you can see, I wrote a couple morbid things into this character: an abusive parent, a mental handicap, a dead parent, and suicide.
There's another character I have, Ruby, that I've been developing for over a year now, and lemme tell ya, she has quite a tragic story.
She has anxiety, depression, and PTSD. She was conceived by rape so she never knew her father, and her mother died when she was quite young. Not only was she conceived by rape, but she was also sexually and physically abused all throughout college. But there was one major event in Ruby's life that really made me realize how gruesome my writing can be.
I send Ruby's story to my friend, Kiana, because I ain't publishing this story online, but I ain't keeping it to myself neither. Kiana loves it! She also went to Masterpiece this past week and also attended the creative writing workshop.
As the class was sharing about their characters they had created, Kiana brought Ruby up and how relatable she felt Ruby was. But she also brought up the fact that Ruby's child was killed before it was born. Long story short, Ruby was pregnant but got stabbed in the stomach, therefore killing the baby.
When Kiana told the instructor this, the instructor, a published author, gasped and looked at me in horror! Luckily, the conversation turned away from my morbid writing, thus saving me some embarrassment. Now, I'm not saying Kiana embarrassed me, I love the fact that she loves my story so much she wanted to share it! What embarrassed me was the fact that the instructor was disgusted by my story line.
But this got me thinking, "why do I write like this?". Why do I write characters that have attempted suicide? Why do I write characters that have eating disorders? Why do I write characters that are handicapped? Let me tell you.
I know how powerful a fictional character can be. I mean, I'm writing a series on the power of characters and publishing it here on my blog! But I think one of the most powerful aspects of fictional characters, is their ability to make us emotionally connect with them.
Why do we connect with them? Have you been reading my blog posts?! We relate to characters because we see ourselves in them. And that's exactly why I write morbidly. I want someone with autism to read my story and go "hey, they're like me,". I want someone who has had their child die read my story and say, "Wow, she went through that too,". I want someone with depression to read my story and say, "they have hope, so do I,".
I write morbidly, not so I can gross people out or start a national controversy, but so people in bad situations have a character they can look at and say, "wow, they're just like me and they made it out okay, and so will I,". It's to give people with no light, hope.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
The Power of Characters pt. 2: a look inside
Someone once said, "what you hate in other people, is what you hate in yourself,". Now I have literally no clue who actually said that, but I do know that that phrase is completely true, especially when it comes to least favorite characters.
Draco Malfoy, Tony Stark, JarJar Binks, we all hate them! Or, at least have some general distaste for them. But why? Why do we dislike these fictional people that never existed? Maybe it's because we see a reflection of ourselves in them.
I the first part of this series, I talked about how we like characters because we see ourselves in them, so why am I now saying that relating to a character makes us dislike a character? Well, in protagonists or likable villains, we see positive traits that we have in common with them, we see difficult situations that we see them overcome and think we can do the same thing. But with antagonists or irritating character, we see bad habits turned evil doings, dark paths that cannot be followed back to the light, and dark hearts that cannot be redeemed.
As I said last time, we could be subconsciously projecting a character's life as our own. So, if we see horrible villains with similar traits as ourselves, we could just be thinking we're headed down the same path and are irredeemable.
But, you could also hate an antagonist if they are hurting the protagonist you see yourself in. What you're saying could be, "hey! Stop bullying Harry Potter! He's great!" but what you're really meaning is this: "hey! Stop bullying me! I'm not that bad!". It's an internal longing to be accepted or liked, or to possibly stop being picked on.
What characters do you see the most of yourself in? Are they good or bad? Do you like or hate them? Which character is the most accurate mirror that gives you a look inside?
Draco Malfoy, Tony Stark, JarJar Binks, we all hate them! Or, at least have some general distaste for them. But why? Why do we dislike these fictional people that never existed? Maybe it's because we see a reflection of ourselves in them.
I the first part of this series, I talked about how we like characters because we see ourselves in them, so why am I now saying that relating to a character makes us dislike a character? Well, in protagonists or likable villains, we see positive traits that we have in common with them, we see difficult situations that we see them overcome and think we can do the same thing. But with antagonists or irritating character, we see bad habits turned evil doings, dark paths that cannot be followed back to the light, and dark hearts that cannot be redeemed.
As I said last time, we could be subconsciously projecting a character's life as our own. So, if we see horrible villains with similar traits as ourselves, we could just be thinking we're headed down the same path and are irredeemable.
But, you could also hate an antagonist if they are hurting the protagonist you see yourself in. What you're saying could be, "hey! Stop bullying Harry Potter! He's great!" but what you're really meaning is this: "hey! Stop bullying me! I'm not that bad!". It's an internal longing to be accepted or liked, or to possibly stop being picked on.
What characters do you see the most of yourself in? Are they good or bad? Do you like or hate them? Which character is the most accurate mirror that gives you a look inside?
Monday, June 5, 2017
This really irks me: what men and women can't do
Okay, we all know that men and women have been fighting for equal rights among the genders (whether it be in a good or bad way). But, even with all the protests, petitions, and progress we've made over the decades, there are still many injustices when it comes to gender equality, against both men and women.
"What? Men don't experience any gender inequalities!" Ha! That's where you're wrong! Not to mention, saying that a man doesn't experience inequality because he's a man, is indeed sexist.
Anyway, there are many inequalities both genders experience, but there are two that really irk me...
WOMEN ARE ALMOST REQUIRED TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES TO LOOK "SEXY"
Okay, look at this picture (yes, I am very aware that is Sebastian Stan, get over it). Anyway, it's just a dude, in a bathtub, fully clothed and he STILL LOOKS SEXY! If a woman did this, she'd be called ridiculous or crazy. Honestly, I think this is extremely unfair. Most of the time, girls have to strip half-naked to be called "sexy" while men usually don't. I think it would be just super if women could sit in bathtubs fully clothed and be drooled over.
MEN ARE CONSIDERED "WIMPS" IF THEY EXPRESS THEMSELVES EMOTIONALLY
A lot of the time men are not allowed to cry because that makes them "less masculine". No, no it doesn't, it makes you human.
I find it very sad that men can't just let go, have a good cry, then feel better afterward. They have to keep it in, bottle it up, and save face just so they aren't made fun of.
men can't even say "I love you" to their best friend, their brotha from anotha motha without being called gay or having to blatantly say "no homo".
LET MEN CRY!
"What? Men don't experience any gender inequalities!" Ha! That's where you're wrong! Not to mention, saying that a man doesn't experience inequality because he's a man, is indeed sexist.
Anyway, there are many inequalities both genders experience, but there are two that really irk me...
WOMEN ARE ALMOST REQUIRED TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES TO LOOK "SEXY"
Okay, look at this picture (yes, I am very aware that is Sebastian Stan, get over it). Anyway, it's just a dude, in a bathtub, fully clothed and he STILL LOOKS SEXY! If a woman did this, she'd be called ridiculous or crazy. Honestly, I think this is extremely unfair. Most of the time, girls have to strip half-naked to be called "sexy" while men usually don't. I think it would be just super if women could sit in bathtubs fully clothed and be drooled over.
MEN ARE CONSIDERED "WIMPS" IF THEY EXPRESS THEMSELVES EMOTIONALLY
I find it very sad that men can't just let go, have a good cry, then feel better afterward. They have to keep it in, bottle it up, and save face just so they aren't made fun of.
men can't even say "I love you" to their best friend, their brotha from anotha motha without being called gay or having to blatantly say "no homo".
LET MEN CRY!
Friday, May 19, 2017
This week in History: Black lipstick
The following events took place on 4/19/2017
Guys, I just realized something. The school year ends in two weeks for me, that means, I won't have any TWIH posts for the whole summer! I'm gonna miss Dr. Parker... but, at least I will be free from homework!
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY!!! *please read in announcer's voice*
TOPIC ONE: In between classes, there is a five-minute transition period so the students can pack up then move to the next class. This is usually when Dr. Parker and his students chat and tell weird or funny stories. This week, Dr. Parker was telling us about this one time when he was on a plane and a lady walked up to him, asking to switch seats. He said that the woman told him that there was a mix-up with the seating and that she wanted to sit next to her cousin. Being the gentlemen that he is, Dr. Parker traded seats with her. But, turns out, she wasn't switching to sit with her family, no. She was switching so she didn't have to sit next to this one guy with horrible B.O. for a four-hour plane ride (I don't remember if that's how long the flight was, but I know it was a long time). So this woman totally jipped Dr. parker into sitting with this gross-smelling guy for an entire plane trip.
I said that, if you wear black lipstick, people wouldn't talk to you because they find you intimidating. So, to have a good laugh, Dr. Parker asked, "so I should start wearing black lipstick?". The whole class died laughing. He even suggested that I turn that into a blog post: "hacks on how to avoid people. #1. Wear black lipstick". But, instead of doing that, I think I'll tell a semi-embarrassing story about me and lipstick that I know Dr. Parker will like.
TOPC TWO: Right before Spring break, I went on vacation to Alabama for a week with my friend. It was pretty awesome! Our rental house was right on a private beach and we had a great view of the ocean!
On, Thursday or Friday, we drove up to the USS Alabama. The USS Alabama is a WWII battleship turned museum/ national park in Mobile. It was AWESOME! Now, that day, I knew we were going to a WWII museum, so I dressed for the occasion. I had a red bandana tied in my hair, wore my Captain America t-shirt (it seemed apropriate), and I dawned a cute pin-up girl makeup look; winged eyeliner and, the ever classic, red lipstick.
After we finished exploring the ship, my friend and I decided to look at the other things the park had on display, one of the exhibits being a submarine. I don't remember what the sub was called, but I do know it was also from WWII.
We went inside the sub, exploring all the buttons and gadgets inside. We also marveled at how small the little living quarters were. Near the end of the sub, I noticed my lipstick was coming off and fading. We were standing in one of the larger living quarters, so there was a mirror right behind me. So, I turned around and re-applied my lipstick in the mirror of a WWII submarine. How many people can say that?! Not many, because most people would know that doing your makeup in a submarine is pretty stupid.
Guys, I just realized something. The school year ends in two weeks for me, that means, I won't have any TWIH posts for the whole summer! I'm gonna miss Dr. Parker... but, at least I will be free from homework!
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY!!! *please read in announcer's voice*
TOPIC ONE: In between classes, there is a five-minute transition period so the students can pack up then move to the next class. This is usually when Dr. Parker and his students chat and tell weird or funny stories. This week, Dr. Parker was telling us about this one time when he was on a plane and a lady walked up to him, asking to switch seats. He said that the woman told him that there was a mix-up with the seating and that she wanted to sit next to her cousin. Being the gentlemen that he is, Dr. Parker traded seats with her. But, turns out, she wasn't switching to sit with her family, no. She was switching so she didn't have to sit next to this one guy with horrible B.O. for a four-hour plane ride (I don't remember if that's how long the flight was, but I know it was a long time). So this woman totally jipped Dr. parker into sitting with this gross-smelling guy for an entire plane trip.
I said that, if you wear black lipstick, people wouldn't talk to you because they find you intimidating. So, to have a good laugh, Dr. Parker asked, "so I should start wearing black lipstick?". The whole class died laughing. He even suggested that I turn that into a blog post: "hacks on how to avoid people. #1. Wear black lipstick". But, instead of doing that, I think I'll tell a semi-embarrassing story about me and lipstick that I know Dr. Parker will like.
TOPC TWO: Right before Spring break, I went on vacation to Alabama for a week with my friend. It was pretty awesome! Our rental house was right on a private beach and we had a great view of the ocean!On, Thursday or Friday, we drove up to the USS Alabama. The USS Alabama is a WWII battleship turned museum/ national park in Mobile. It was AWESOME! Now, that day, I knew we were going to a WWII museum, so I dressed for the occasion. I had a red bandana tied in my hair, wore my Captain America t-shirt (it seemed apropriate), and I dawned a cute pin-up girl makeup look; winged eyeliner and, the ever classic, red lipstick.
After we finished exploring the ship, my friend and I decided to look at the other things the park had on display, one of the exhibits being a submarine. I don't remember what the sub was called, but I do know it was also from WWII.
We went inside the sub, exploring all the buttons and gadgets inside. We also marveled at how small the little living quarters were. Near the end of the sub, I noticed my lipstick was coming off and fading. We were standing in one of the larger living quarters, so there was a mirror right behind me. So, I turned around and re-applied my lipstick in the mirror of a WWII submarine. How many people can say that?! Not many, because most people would know that doing your makeup in a submarine is pretty stupid.
Friday, April 28, 2017
The Power of Characters pt.1: R.I.P Steve Rogers
So! As you have probably figured out, I am a huge Captain America fan! And, you may have also gathered from various set photos, raging fangirls (me), and internet articles, THE NEXT AVENGERS MOVIE IS COMING OUT!!! Yes, Avengers Infinity War will be coming out in May of 2018! I am very excited! .... except for one thing... In the comics, Steve Rogers DIES. Yes, you heard me right, Captain America, the Star Spangled Man, the First Avenger, DIES. This means that it is more than likely that Cap will die by the end of the new movie. And, to be completely honest with you all, I'm not emotionally ready for that.
I've barely even been in the whole Marvel fandom for a year and I'm already being threatened with the death of one of my favorite characters! But this over dramatic crisis got me thinking, 'why am I so riled up by the death of someone- who doesn't even exist?'. I'm a writer (obviously) and I can understand someone being upset over the death or misfortune of a character they relate to, but an all-out existential crisis? That seems a bit much.
Characters are created with the intention of getting the reader/ viewer to root for them, want them to win, and/ or be happy, and often times writers do this by making their characters relatable. In order to do this, characters are given flaws. Those flaws may be physical, mental, or a part of their personality. For example, Steve Rogers. He is a WWII veteran so he suffers depression, anxiety, and PTSD. These are all mental flaws. He also deals with vices such as pride and stubbornness. Those are personality flaws. And, pre-serum Steve was short and bony; physical flaws. Now, even with all of these flaws millions of people still adore Captain America! Why is that? Because they can relate to him! They might also like him because they feel they can relate to his situation; feeling out of place, battling with old vs. new morals, losing loved ones, etc. So really, when we like a character, we like them because they are like us.
From this, we may conclude that our emotional disturbance when a character suffers is caused by our emotional relation to them. Taking a much deeper and philosophical look into this, does this mean when we see something happen to a character we love, that we fear we will suffer the same fate? What I'm trying to get at is that we might not be overreacting to the death or misfortune of a beloved character, we could just be subconsciously fearing for our own lives and futures. Think about it, doesn't it make sense? So, when I'm scared to say, 'R.I.P Steve Rogers', maybe, in deep down, I'm just scared to say, 'R.I.P Ary'...
I've barely even been in the whole Marvel fandom for a year and I'm already being threatened with the death of one of my favorite characters! But this over dramatic crisis got me thinking, 'why am I so riled up by the death of someone- who doesn't even exist?'. I'm a writer (obviously) and I can understand someone being upset over the death or misfortune of a character they relate to, but an all-out existential crisis? That seems a bit much.
Characters are created with the intention of getting the reader/ viewer to root for them, want them to win, and/ or be happy, and often times writers do this by making their characters relatable. In order to do this, characters are given flaws. Those flaws may be physical, mental, or a part of their personality. For example, Steve Rogers. He is a WWII veteran so he suffers depression, anxiety, and PTSD. These are all mental flaws. He also deals with vices such as pride and stubbornness. Those are personality flaws. And, pre-serum Steve was short and bony; physical flaws. Now, even with all of these flaws millions of people still adore Captain America! Why is that? Because they can relate to him! They might also like him because they feel they can relate to his situation; feeling out of place, battling with old vs. new morals, losing loved ones, etc. So really, when we like a character, we like them because they are like us.
From this, we may conclude that our emotional disturbance when a character suffers is caused by our emotional relation to them. Taking a much deeper and philosophical look into this, does this mean when we see something happen to a character we love, that we fear we will suffer the same fate? What I'm trying to get at is that we might not be overreacting to the death or misfortune of a beloved character, we could just be subconsciously fearing for our own lives and futures. Think about it, doesn't it make sense? So, when I'm scared to say, 'R.I.P Steve Rogers', maybe, in deep down, I'm just scared to say, 'R.I.P Ary'...
Friday, April 21, 2017
How to: become comfortable in your own skin
We all know life is diverse; different heights, different ethnicities, and especially different body types. But, apparently, the world thinks that these different body types are... bad. Fat shaming, photoshopped models, the many, many jokes and insults we've all heard, all because we are a human and not a manufactured Barbie/ Ken doll. All of this makes it pretty hard to be confident and happy when you're not a Victoria Secret or Calvin Klein model. But, I say this needs to change, we all need to feel comfortable in our wonderful, diverse bodies and I'm going to help with that.
Before I begin, I just want to put out the disclaimer that I am not a doctor or a psychologist or anything like that, just a girl who's learning to love her body and wants to help others as well. Also, I'm not condoning eating disorders or obesity. If you have a problem with abusing food in any way you should seek help from a professional. This is not a post about how to diagnose or evaluate yourself, just a post about gaining confidence. Now that I've said that, on to the advice!
A lot of websites and articles will tell you to maybe try wearing lingerie everywhere or have more sex, but I'm not going to tell you that. No, I'm going to tell you how to gain confidence in your awesome body modestly. Here we go!
#1 FIND AN OUTFIT YOU FEEL YOU LOOK GOOD IN
As a plus sized teen, I have learned how important this is. I personally feel really good when I wear a mix a casual and nicer clothes. I have this one blue sundress I wear with a red lumberjack flannel! I feel awesome when I wear it! Now, you may feel cool in nicer, preppy clothes or maybe punk rocker clothes, whatever you feel nice in (while still being modest). And don't go over to your dresser and pull out a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants so you can hide your body. We are not hiding our bodies, we are complimenting them with our clothing.
#2 TAKE BABY STEPS IN TAKING RISKS
Wear tank tops, wear bolder colors, wear horizontal stripes, wear vertical stripes, wear shorts, anything to get you out of your comfort zone. We all know that we aren't going to feel 100% confident in our bodies overnight, we won't go from 0 to 60 that quick. Instead, we'll take little risks more often and feel more comfortable in those risks. For example, I usually don't like wearing short sleeves, I hate showing off my arms. But, that all changed when I went to homecoming with my friend last September.
I had to wear a nice dress, and I didn't have any suitable dresses then, so, I borrowed one. Problem was, it was sleeveless! So, to avoid showing my arms, I wore a black shawl over the dress. But, the shawl made it really hard to dance without it getting in the way. So I had to make a decision; fun, comfortable dancing, or, cover my 'undesirable' arms. I chose the former. And guess what? I didn't care that my arms were showing! I had a great time! It was a baby step in becoming more confident.
I had to wear a nice dress, and I didn't have any suitable dresses then, so, I borrowed one. Problem was, it was sleeveless! So, to avoid showing my arms, I wore a black shawl over the dress. But, the shawl made it really hard to dance without it getting in the way. So I had to make a decision; fun, comfortable dancing, or, cover my 'undesirable' arms. I chose the former. And guess what? I didn't care that my arms were showing! I had a great time! It was a baby step in becoming more confident.
#3 KNOW THAT YOUR WEIGHT ISN’T ALWAYS A SCALE ON HOW HEALTHY YOU ARE
There are plenty of heavier set people who are perfectly healthy, they are just heavier. There are plenty of skinny people who are healthy, they are just thinner. There are lots of people who uphold the cultural standard of beauty and are unhealthy, they just uphold society's standard of good looks. Unless a doctor says you need to lose/ gain weight, you are probably fine. But, if your legs can't hold your own body up or you look like a six-foot-tall lower case 'i', you might want to consider changing your eating habits to control your weight. But, unless that's the case, you are fine until a doctor disagrees.
#4 BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER
Recognize what you do well instead of focusing on all of the negative. You ate a salad instead of a burger today? Good job! You took the stairs instead of the elevator? Awesome! You beat your old time for running a mile? Way to go! Push yourself to do better (within reason, don't push yourself beyond the breaking point) and recognize your progress. It's not prideful to know you did well at something.
#5 YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE
The literal God of the universe created you and your cool, unique body! He gave you your thick thighs, He gave you your small frame, He gave you your cool double joins, He gave you your big feet, He made you with love and care and he is so proud of his special creation!
Again, guys, I am no professional and if you need help, seek it from someone who can really help you. And I'm not saying that the abuse of food is good, that is very, very bad and should be addressed by a professional. But, please be confident in and love yourself and the vessel you're occupying, because your body loves you.
Remember, I love you, GOD loves you, and you look awesome!
Over and out,
<3 Ary
Friday, April 14, 2017
Are you ready?
For a few weeks now, I've been thinking about that and what it means to me. What have we done to deserve this gift of freedom from death? Nothing. What did Jesus do to deserve the burden of all the world's sins? Nothing. What's really gotten me thinking, is that Jesus could come back any moment. The skies could split open, the trumpets could sound, and Jesus could come riding down to earth on his white horse in five minutes for all we know! Or, five years for all we know. But the real question is: am I ready? Am I ready for the literal God of the universe, creator of all things discovered and undiscovered, the King of kings that rules life as we know it while existing outside of time and space, to come down and ask, "Ary, do you love me?". As a sixteen-year-old girl who has barely experienced life outside of her hometown, I would have to say... "Y'know Jesus, that's a great question,".
Do I love Him? That's what Peter said and he betrayed Jesus three times! And that was just in a short, documented time span! Who knows how many other sins and transgressions he committed. That makes me think, "have my sins and transgressions separated me from GOD?". As a lowly, sinful human, I would say "yes". But as GOD's saved daughter, GOD's special princess, I would say, "why would Father give me up? He loves me thiiiisss much!".
We may abandon GOD and run with the world, but GOD never gives up on us, he always waits with his arms wide open, hoping that we will come home again. We are the prodigal sons and daughters, we cannot be separated by sins we've committed. If Jesus can save Peter, He can save me. If Jesus can save Paul, the former murderer of Christians, he can save me. If Jesus can save literal serial killers and love them unconditionally, he can save me.
"Yes, Father, I love you. I am the prodigal daughter, I am the saved princess, I am the beloved child of GOD. Yes, Father, I love you, for you loved me first,".
Friday, March 24, 2017
Romanticizing Romance
I write a lot, obviously, and I write a lot of romance stories. Now before you go to the comments section and type out an angry letter to me saying how filthy I am, I just want you to know that I don't write erotica. That's gross. I'm not typing out a prequel to Fifty Shades of Gray to anything. I write stuff similarly to Disney romances... only I don't... let me explain.
In a lot of romance stories, there are some commonly spread lies that are told within them. In my Stories, I always try to create realistic and healthy romantic relationships. Therefore, there are some cliches and tropes I have to avoid. Here are some of them.
THE DISNEY COUPLE
We all grew up with Disney, and to some degree, it has affected us and our opinions on love. Disney has taught us that love happens instantly and that it solves all your problems. Now, just to be clear, I do not believe in love at first sight or soul mates, but, that's a post for another day. What I'm saying, is that love in real life happens after spending time with and getting to know your partner. You don't meet someone and then 48 hours later go and marry them, do you? Exactly.
THE STRUGGLE IS(N'T) REAL
It seems that society wants you to believe that relationships mean you don't have struggles within those relationships. And, that if you do fight or struggle, that means you're in an unhealthy or faulty relationship. But that is completely false! All relationships have fights and struggles, but that doesn't mean you should bail on the relationship! If you're in a healthy relationship, you will be able to talk out your problems calmly and fairly with your partner. Sure, there might be one or two fights that will last a while, but, they'll get better. But, if you're constantly fighting, especially about things like fidelity, trust, and chastity, then maybe you should get counseling. And if that doesn't help, then you should probably break up.
THE PERSCRIPTION BOTTLE
This one annoys me the most. Listen, if you get a significant other, you are not magically cured of all your mental illnesses. Yes, your partner will make the load a little easier to bear, but they won't act as a magical solution to your problems. If you have depression, an S.O. (significant other) will not make you perpetually happy or make you healthy enough to skip the meds, that's just not how this works. Same goes for any other mental illness. Your partner should help and support you through the struggle you go through every day, they shouldn't be a replacement for medication or therapy.
THE "BABY, I PROMISE I'LL CHANGE"
If you date a jerk, they will stay a jerk. If you date a ditz, they'll stay a ditz. They won't magically correct their behavior just for you. Not to say that your S.O. won't have flaws, but if their cons far outweigh their pros, they probably won't change. And no, you cannot change them. Sure, maybe they will have one problematic flaw, then, once they decide they like you, they'll correct their behavior as a means of saying their willing to fight for you. But, if that flaw is their entire personality, they aint changin'.
COLLEGE = MARRIAGE
College does not guarantee you that you will meet your future spouse. Just, no. Yes, it is possible, but don't act like it's a GOD given promise that you will.
Those are just a few of the romance cliches I've had to avoid, but there are many more. Hope you have a wonderful week!
Over and out,
<3 Ary
In a lot of romance stories, there are some commonly spread lies that are told within them. In my Stories, I always try to create realistic and healthy romantic relationships. Therefore, there are some cliches and tropes I have to avoid. Here are some of them.
THE DISNEY COUPLE
We all grew up with Disney, and to some degree, it has affected us and our opinions on love. Disney has taught us that love happens instantly and that it solves all your problems. Now, just to be clear, I do not believe in love at first sight or soul mates, but, that's a post for another day. What I'm saying, is that love in real life happens after spending time with and getting to know your partner. You don't meet someone and then 48 hours later go and marry them, do you? Exactly.
THE STRUGGLE IS(N'T) REAL
It seems that society wants you to believe that relationships mean you don't have struggles within those relationships. And, that if you do fight or struggle, that means you're in an unhealthy or faulty relationship. But that is completely false! All relationships have fights and struggles, but that doesn't mean you should bail on the relationship! If you're in a healthy relationship, you will be able to talk out your problems calmly and fairly with your partner. Sure, there might be one or two fights that will last a while, but, they'll get better. But, if you're constantly fighting, especially about things like fidelity, trust, and chastity, then maybe you should get counseling. And if that doesn't help, then you should probably break up.
THE PERSCRIPTION BOTTLE
This one annoys me the most. Listen, if you get a significant other, you are not magically cured of all your mental illnesses. Yes, your partner will make the load a little easier to bear, but they won't act as a magical solution to your problems. If you have depression, an S.O. (significant other) will not make you perpetually happy or make you healthy enough to skip the meds, that's just not how this works. Same goes for any other mental illness. Your partner should help and support you through the struggle you go through every day, they shouldn't be a replacement for medication or therapy.
THE "BABY, I PROMISE I'LL CHANGE"
If you date a jerk, they will stay a jerk. If you date a ditz, they'll stay a ditz. They won't magically correct their behavior just for you. Not to say that your S.O. won't have flaws, but if their cons far outweigh their pros, they probably won't change. And no, you cannot change them. Sure, maybe they will have one problematic flaw, then, once they decide they like you, they'll correct their behavior as a means of saying their willing to fight for you. But, if that flaw is their entire personality, they aint changin'.
COLLEGE = MARRIAGE
College does not guarantee you that you will meet your future spouse. Just, no. Yes, it is possible, but don't act like it's a GOD given promise that you will.
Those are just a few of the romance cliches I've had to avoid, but there are many more. Hope you have a wonderful week!
Over and out,
<3 Ary
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Hiatus
Wasup me Picassos? Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I was gone all day. Now look, I know I took a break from the blog back in September, but I need another one, this time because of scheduling issues. I am kinda overwhelmed with writing projects from school and my personal writing career and I will be for the next couple of weeks. So, I'm going to go on hiatus for a couple weeks. I'll try to post when I can, but I most definitely will not have a regular upload schedule for a while. I'll build up blog drafts when I have time, I'll post every now and again, but, for the most part, you won't see me. I'll probably return to my normal, weekly, upload schedule some time in March, but for now, I need a breather. I'll see you guys in March!
Over and out!
<3 Ary
Over and out!
<3 Ary
Friday, February 3, 2017
An Author's adrenalin rush
Writing is hard. Us writers put A LOT of time and effort into our work. Coffee replaces blood in our veins, sleep becomes a distant memory, our eyes are permanently bloodshot from staring at our Words documents for hours on end, and don't even get me started on writer's block! We work hard, and sometimes, with little to no reward. But! For every six hours of missed sleep and every twelve cups of coffee we drink, there is one magical moment when you get a comment, favorite, or if the writing gods permit, a new follower!
A couple months ago, I started a second blog, but this one is for fanfiction (no, I will not explain what that is), and, it's pretty small compared to the other fanfiction blogs I follow. I knew I wouldn't be popular over night, but I was still hoping I would have a few likes and reposts on my writing.
After I posted a few fics, I was beginning to get discouraged with how little attention my blog was getting. I had only about 15 followers, half of them ad blogs, half of my works weren't getting any notes at all, and the other half got six notes or less. I had only ever gotten two requests and one of them was my friend who told me to start my fanfic blog. At this point I had posted a little over fifteen fics; I had spent a really long time on all that writing! And I was barely being rewarded for my diligence and creativity! That was until a few days ago...
I was running out of ideas. I hadn't been getting any requests so I had to come up with the writing prompts myself, but I was rapidly running out of creative juices. I had been able to come up with one more fic, then I would be completely spent. It was about a soldier during WWII talking to his girlfriend right before he leaves for the army. I felt I had done pretty well on it and I thought people would like it, though my doubts told me it would be ignored just like the rest of my writing.
Before posting it, I added an author's note at the beginning of the fic, as I usually do. In this little author's note I half-jokingly said, "help guys, I'm running out of ideas, please send requests,". I knew people would ignore my needy plea, so I didn't check my blog until the next day.
I checked my blog, expecting to see a barren ask box and blank notifications board, but, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I had gotten, not one, but TWO requests! I eagerly wrote, edited, and posted the first one, entitled "CUDDLE BUDDY" and in my author's note, I thanked the anonymous requester profusely! But, after such an intense burst of writing energy, I was creatively spent, so I took a break before filling the next request.
The day after that, I started writing out the second request. As soon as I posted it, again, thanking the requester profusely, the fic started getting notes. I was pretty surprised, considering I still have fics, that were posted before Thanksgiving, that have zero notes at all. After checking my blog's activity, I saw that I had gained three new followers! That may not seem like a lot, but to a small blog like mine, that meant the world!
So, as I am writing this, I have 28 followers and "CUDDLE BUDDY" has a whopping 124 notes, including favorites and reposts!!!! And, yesterday, I had gotten a request for a part two to "CUDDLE BUDDY"!!!! Four days ago I barely had 18 followers and an empty inbox. Now, I've gained ten followers in 24 hours when it took me three months to get 18, and I'm getting requests for sequels!
As a writer, it feels so good to finally get recognition for my work! I feel so happy and I've gotten my writing mojo back and then some! So please, take time to let the writer in your life know that their hard labor and creativity is appreciated.
Over and out!
<3 Ary
A couple months ago, I started a second blog, but this one is for fanfiction (no, I will not explain what that is), and, it's pretty small compared to the other fanfiction blogs I follow. I knew I wouldn't be popular over night, but I was still hoping I would have a few likes and reposts on my writing.
After I posted a few fics, I was beginning to get discouraged with how little attention my blog was getting. I had only about 15 followers, half of them ad blogs, half of my works weren't getting any notes at all, and the other half got six notes or less. I had only ever gotten two requests and one of them was my friend who told me to start my fanfic blog. At this point I had posted a little over fifteen fics; I had spent a really long time on all that writing! And I was barely being rewarded for my diligence and creativity! That was until a few days ago...
I was running out of ideas. I hadn't been getting any requests so I had to come up with the writing prompts myself, but I was rapidly running out of creative juices. I had been able to come up with one more fic, then I would be completely spent. It was about a soldier during WWII talking to his girlfriend right before he leaves for the army. I felt I had done pretty well on it and I thought people would like it, though my doubts told me it would be ignored just like the rest of my writing.
Before posting it, I added an author's note at the beginning of the fic, as I usually do. In this little author's note I half-jokingly said, "help guys, I'm running out of ideas, please send requests,". I knew people would ignore my needy plea, so I didn't check my blog until the next day.
I checked my blog, expecting to see a barren ask box and blank notifications board, but, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I had gotten, not one, but TWO requests! I eagerly wrote, edited, and posted the first one, entitled "CUDDLE BUDDY" and in my author's note, I thanked the anonymous requester profusely! But, after such an intense burst of writing energy, I was creatively spent, so I took a break before filling the next request.
The day after that, I started writing out the second request. As soon as I posted it, again, thanking the requester profusely, the fic started getting notes. I was pretty surprised, considering I still have fics, that were posted before Thanksgiving, that have zero notes at all. After checking my blog's activity, I saw that I had gained three new followers! That may not seem like a lot, but to a small blog like mine, that meant the world!
So, as I am writing this, I have 28 followers and "CUDDLE BUDDY" has a whopping 124 notes, including favorites and reposts!!!! And, yesterday, I had gotten a request for a part two to "CUDDLE BUDDY"!!!! Four days ago I barely had 18 followers and an empty inbox. Now, I've gained ten followers in 24 hours when it took me three months to get 18, and I'm getting requests for sequels!
As a writer, it feels so good to finally get recognition for my work! I feel so happy and I've gotten my writing mojo back and then some! So please, take time to let the writer in your life know that their hard labor and creativity is appreciated.
Over and out!
<3 Ary
Friday, January 13, 2017
The mystery of Steve's leather jacket
NOTE: minor spoiler alert.
Captain America! America's new hope, God's righteous man, the man out of time, the star-spangled man with a plan, living proof that perfection is indeed attainable! We all love Captain America. We love his big heart, his excellent leadership, or, if you're weird like me, you love his snazzy leather jacket.Steve's jacket is a fairly iconic piece in Steve's everyday apparel; he wears it numerous times throughout the multiple Marvel movies he appears in. But, where exactly did he get his jacket? This is the mystery of Steve's leather jacket! *dun dun dun*
"Well Ary, ever think that maybe Steve got it at the store, like a normal person?" Ya see, that's the thing, we see Steve wear it in the 40s during WWII, and, if you know anything about WWII, you know that leather was heavily rationed during this time, so that jacket would either have not existed or have been extremely expensive. But, in Bucky's flashbacks in CATWS (Captain America: the Winter Soldier) we see that Steve lived in a shabby Brooklyn apartment, meaning Steve lived fairly modestly and probably couldn't afford a nice jacket like the one we see him wear all the time."Well Ary, maybe he got it in the 30s," Again, Steve lived very modestly and could not afford a jacket like that, and we have the Great Depression to consider. So every other average American citizen would have been struggling financially as well.
After pondering about how Steve could've acquired that jacket, given the state of the government in that era and Steve's waste-not-want-not way of living, I came to a dead end in my search. After thinking that questioning the origins of Captain America's leather jacket was a wild, fangirl goose chase, my brother pointed out that Steve's jacket looked like a WWI aviator's jacket. Then it hit me. You know who fought in WWI? Joseph Rogers, aka, Steven Grant Rogers's dad.
Here's my theory: we know that Steve's father, Joseph, died from a tear gas attack during WWI before Steve was born, as it is said in CATFA (Captain America: the First Avenger). It is very likely that Joseph's jacket was given to Sarah Rogers, Steve's mother, as a condolence from the military. Now knowing that Steve would never know, or even see his father, Sarah would've given the jacket to him so he would have something to know his father by. That would also explain why the jacket always looks new and clean, Steve would've take phenomenal care of his late father's jacket.
When I presented this theory to my friend Jori, the girl who got me into the MCU in the first place, she thought it was a very good theory. But, she also presented another theory; what of the jacket is Bucky's? We see that Steve only starts wearing the jacket after Bucky is drafted, so maybe it was a gift from Bucky to Steve, so Steve would have something to remember his best friend by while he was away. That would also explain why we never see pre-serum Steve wear the jacket. If Bucky didn't give Steve the jacket until right before he left, then Steve wouldn't even have the chance to wear it until the next day. But, the next day, Steve was transformed into Captain America, so again, Steve didn't really have the chance to wear the jacket. But, we see steve wear the jacket for the first time right after he performs his show for the 107th.
So, where do you think Steve got his leather jacket? Was it his dad's? Was it a goodbye present from Bucky? Or did Steve simply buy it himself? Tell me in the comments!
Over and Out!
<3 Ary
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