Why do you write like that?

Writing.  A mode of creativity and catharsis I enjoy partaking in.  It's a way to get your feelings out, calm your busy brain down, or rev it up.  But sometimes, writing can get a bit morbid.  Why am I bringing up writing?  Because sometimes, that's how I write.

Now, I don't mean I write emo poetry or suicide notes as a joke, I mean that I write about adult subjects and situations (drugs, abuse, rape, mental illness, death, etc...).


I was at Masterpiece this past week and they had a creative writing mini workshop that I attended.  It was just a one-hour class, but I figured it would be an hour of my time well spent.

In this little class, we were focusing on character creation; we were to find an object in the room and quickly base a character off of that item.  For example, my friend created a chemist character because of some burlap she saw, another girl wrote an altered timeline story based off a can of Mountain Dew.  Me?  I based it off a necklace I was wearing and a bracelet the instructor was wearing.

I created a character named Boaz.  He has an abusive mother and his father committed suicide.  He also has autism.  His best friend, Priscilla, likes to play music with him since they both play a couple instruments.  Boaz tries to be out of the house and away from his mom as much as possible.  His favorite places to be are in the park at night when it's quiet, cool, and dark, and the peaceful coffee shop down the street.

As you can see, I wrote a couple morbid things into this character: an abusive parent, a mental handicap, a dead parent, and suicide.


There's another character I have, Ruby, that I've been developing for over a year now, and lemme tell ya, she has quite a tragic story.

She has anxiety, depression, and PTSD.  She was conceived by rape so she never knew her father, and her mother died when she was quite young.  Not only was she conceived by rape, but she was also sexually and physically abused all throughout college.  But there was one major event in Ruby's life that really made me realize how gruesome my writing can be.

I send Ruby's story to my friend, Kiana, because I ain't publishing this story online, but I ain't keeping it to myself neither.  Kiana loves it!  She also went to Masterpiece this past week and also attended the creative writing workshop.

As the class was sharing about their characters they had created, Kiana brought Ruby up and how relatable she felt Ruby was.  But she also brought up the fact that Ruby's child was killed before it was born.  Long story short, Ruby was pregnant but got stabbed in the stomach, therefore killing the baby.

When Kiana told the instructor this, the instructor, a published author, gasped and looked at me in horror!  Luckily, the conversation turned away from my morbid writing, thus saving me some embarrassment.  Now, I'm not saying Kiana embarrassed me, I love the fact that she loves my story so much she wanted to share it!  What embarrassed me was the fact that the instructor was disgusted by my story line.

But this got me thinking, "why do I write like this?".  Why do I write characters that have attempted suicide?  Why do I write characters that have eating disorders?  Why do I write characters that are handicapped?  Let me tell you.

I know how powerful a fictional character can be.  I mean, I'm writing a series on the power of characters and publishing it here on my blog!  But I think one of the most powerful aspects of fictional characters, is their ability to make us emotionally connect with them.

Why do we connect with them?  Have you been reading my blog posts?!  We relate to characters because we see ourselves in them.  And that's exactly why I write morbidly.  I want someone with autism to read my story and go "hey, they're like me,".  I want someone who has had their child die read my story and say, "Wow, she went through that too,".  I want someone with depression to read my story and say, "they have hope, so do I,".

I write morbidly, not so I can gross people out or start a national controversy, but so people in bad situations have a character they can look at and say, "wow, they're just like me and they made it out okay, and so will I,".  It's to give people with no light, hope.