Friday, April 21, 2017

How to: become comfortable in your own skin

A thigh gap, nice butt, and six-pack abs, it's what the world wants.  But, what if you don't have these things?
We all know life is diverse; different heights, different ethnicities, and especially different body types.  But, apparently, the world thinks that these different body types are... bad.  Fat shaming, photoshopped models, the many, many jokes and insults we've all heard, all because we are a human and not a manufactured Barbie/ Ken doll.  All of this makes it pretty hard to be confident and happy when you're not a Victoria Secret or Calvin Klein model.  But, I say this needs to change, we all need to feel comfortable in our wonderful, diverse bodies and I'm going to help with that.

Before I begin, I just want to put out the disclaimer that I am not a doctor or a psychologist or anything like that, just a girl who's learning to love her body and wants to help others as well.  Also, I'm not condoning eating disorders or obesity.  If you have a problem with abusing food in any way you should seek help from a professional.  This is not a post about how to diagnose or evaluate yourself, just a post about gaining confidence.  Now that I've said that, on to the advice!

A lot of websites and articles will tell you to maybe try wearing lingerie everywhere or have more sex, but I'm not going to tell you that.  No, I'm going to tell you how to gain confidence in your awesome body modestly.  Here we go!

#1 FIND AN OUTFIT YOU FEEL YOU LOOK GOOD IN
 As a plus sized teen, I have learned how important this is.  I personally feel really good when I wear a mix a casual and nicer clothes.  I have this one blue sundress I wear with a red lumberjack flannel!  I feel awesome when I wear it!  Now, you may feel cool in nicer, preppy clothes or maybe punk rocker clothes, whatever you feel nice in (while still being modest).  And don't go over to your dresser and pull out a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants so you can hide your body.  We are not hiding our bodies, we are complimenting them with our clothing.

#2 TAKE BABY STEPS IN TAKING RISKS
Wear tank tops, wear bolder colors, wear horizontal stripes, wear vertical stripes, wear shorts, anything to get you out of your comfort zone.  We all know that we aren't going to feel 100% confident in our bodies overnight, we won't go from 0 to 60 that quick.  Instead, we'll take little risks more often and feel more comfortable in those risks.  For example, I usually don't like wearing short sleeves, I hate showing off my arms.  But, that all changed when I went to homecoming with my friend last September.
I had to wear a nice dress, and I didn't have any suitable dresses then, so, I borrowed one.  Problem was, it was sleeveless!  So, to avoid showing my arms, I wore a black shawl over the dress.  But, the shawl made it really hard to dance without it getting in the way.  So I had to make a decision; fun, comfortable dancing, or, cover my 'undesirable' arms.  I chose the former.  And guess what?  I didn't care that my arms were showing!  I had a great time!  It was a baby step in becoming more confident.

#3 KNOW THAT YOUR WEIGHT ISN’T ALWAYS A SCALE ON HOW HEALTHY YOU ARE
There are plenty of heavier set people who are perfectly healthy, they are just heavier.  There are plenty of skinny people who are healthy, they are just thinner.  There are lots of people who uphold the cultural standard of beauty and are unhealthy, they just uphold society's standard of good looks.  Unless a doctor says you need to lose/ gain weight, you are probably fine.  But, if your legs can't hold your own body up or you look like a six-foot-tall lower case 'i', you might want to consider changing your eating habits to control your weight.  But, unless that's the case, you are fine until a doctor disagrees.

#4 BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER
Recognize what you do well instead of focusing on all of the negative.  You ate a salad instead of a burger today?  Good job!  You took the stairs instead of the elevator?  Awesome!  You beat your old time for running a mile?  Way to go!  Push yourself to do better (within reason, don't push yourself beyond the breaking point) and recognize your progress.  It's not prideful to know you did well at something.


#5 YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE
The literal God of the universe created you and your cool, unique body!  He gave you your thick thighs, He gave you your small frame, He gave you your cool double joins, He gave you your big feet, He made you with love and care and he is so proud of his special creation!

Again, guys, I am no professional and if you need help, seek it from someone who can really help you.  And I'm not saying that the abuse of food is good, that is very, very bad and should be addressed by a professional.  But, please be confident in and love yourself and the vessel you're occupying, because your body loves you.

Remember, I love you, GOD loves you, and you look awesome!
Over and out,
<3 Ary

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