Romanticizing Romance

I write a lot, obviously, and I write a lot of romance stories.  Now before you go to the comments section and type out an angry letter to me saying how filthy I am, I just want you to know that I don't write erotica.  That's gross.  I'm not typing out a prequel to Fifty Shades of Gray to anything.  I write stuff similarly to Disney romances... only I don't... let me explain.

In a lot of romance stories, there are some commonly spread lies that are told within them.  In my Stories, I always try to create realistic and healthy romantic relationships.  Therefore, there are some cliches and tropes I have to avoid.  Here are some of them.


THE DISNEY COUPLE
We all grew up with Disney, and to some degree, it has affected us and our opinions on love.  Disney has taught us that love happens instantly and that it solves all your problems.  Now, just to be clear, I do not believe in love at first sight or soul mates, but, that's a post for another day.  What I'm saying, is that love in real life happens after spending time with and getting to know your partner.  You don't meet someone and then 48 hours later go and marry them, do you?  Exactly.

THE STRUGGLE IS(N'T) REAL
It seems that society wants you to believe that relationships mean you don't have struggles within those relationships.  And, that if you do fight or struggle, that means you're in an unhealthy or faulty relationship.  But that is completely false!  All relationships have fights and struggles, but that doesn't mean you should bail on the relationship!  If you're in a healthy relationship, you will be able to talk out your problems calmly and fairly with your partner.  Sure, there might be one or two fights that will last a while, but, they'll get better.  But, if you're constantly fighting, especially about things like fidelity, trust, and chastity, then maybe you should get counseling.  And if that doesn't help, then you should probably break up.

THE PERSCRIPTION BOTTLE
This one annoys me the most.  Listen, if you get a significant other, you are not magically cured of all your mental illnesses.  Yes, your partner will make the load a little easier to bear, but they won't act as a magical solution to your problems.  If you have depression, an S.O. (significant other) will not make you perpetually happy or make you healthy enough to skip the meds, that's just not how this works.  Same goes for any other mental illness.  Your partner should help and support you through the struggle you go through every day, they shouldn't be a replacement for medication or therapy.

THE "BABY, I PROMISE I'LL CHANGE"
If you date a jerk, they will stay a jerk.  If you date a ditz, they'll stay a ditz.  They won't magically correct their behavior just for you.  Not to say that your S.O. won't have flaws, but if their cons far outweigh their pros, they probably won't change.  And no, you cannot change them.  Sure, maybe they will have one problematic flaw, then, once they decide they like you, they'll correct their behavior as a means of saying their willing to fight for you.  But, if that flaw is their entire personality, they aint changin'.

COLLEGE = MARRIAGE
College does not guarantee you that you will meet your future spouse.  Just, no.  Yes, it is possible, but don't act like it's a GOD given promise that you will.

Those are just a few of the romance cliches I've had to avoid, but there are many more.  Hope you have a wonderful week!

Over and out,
<3 Ary