So I did a little social experiment a few months ago. I went to my youth group, where I don't have too many friends, and decided to see how many people would approach me. If you know me, you know I am usually the one to approach people, so this was quite abnormal for me, but I wanted to see what would happen.
I walked in with my phone, sat in a corner, but still in a place where people could clearly see me, and waited. I didn't talk, I didn't wave to anyone, I just sat, and watched as the people passed me by.
Five minutes pass and no one has approached me. But I'm not too worried. It hadn't been that long, the youth room was still fairly empty, and most of the kids that were in there were the ones that were already shy.
Fifteen minutes pass and the room is packed. I haven't gotten so much as a passing glance. Now I'm getting a little worried, and, if I'm being completely honest, I was getting very insecure. "Am I intimidating? Does no one like me? Am i really that unapproachable?!". At this point, I have resorted to playing on my phone.
Twenty minutes pass... nothing. I'm still playing on my phone, waiting to get a text back from my friend whom I was hoping to talk to so I wouldn't be so lonely.
Twenty-five minutes pass... still nothing. No one has looked at me, no one has waved to me, no one has even given me a quick, awkward smile.
Twenty-eight minutes and someone finally approaches me! "Hey, what are you doing over here all alone? You should be out there, having fun," the boy said, I knew this kid. His name was Reid, and because he was the only person who approached me in the entire half-hour I was sitting there, I think he's awesome.
In church, you're always told that the congregation should be a family, a community, people should look out for one another, include one another... THEN HOW COME IN THE MIDDLE OF FLIPPIN' CHURCH I WAS ONLY APPROACHED BY ONE PERSON?!?!
This really pissed me off. Why am I sitting all alone in a corner, freaking SURROUNDED by at least 100 other people my age and only 1 of those people comes over to talk to me?! Why is our church so divided and clique-y?! Yes, having a group of good friends that you hang out with is fine, encouraged, even. But, I don't think it's fair that I was sitting alone for 30 minutes while everyone else was socializing. Look me in the eye and tell me there's not something wrong with that.
Why is our church so divided when Jesus is supposed to bring us together?
Friday, July 7, 2017
Friday, June 30, 2017
Why do you write like that?
Writing. A mode of creativity and catharsis I enjoy partaking in. It's a way to get your feelings out, calm your busy brain down, or rev it up. But sometimes, writing can get a bit morbid. Why am I bringing up writing? Because sometimes, that's how I write.
Now, I don't mean I write emo poetry or suicide notes as a joke, I mean that I write about adult subjects and situations (drugs, abuse, rape, mental illness, death, etc...).
I was at Masterpiece this past week and they had a creative writing mini workshop that I attended. It was just a one-hour class, but I figured it would be an hour of my time well spent.
In this little class, we were focusing on character creation; we were to find an object in the room and quickly base a character off of that item. For example, my friend created a chemist character because of some burlap she saw, another girl wrote an altered timeline story based off a can of Mountain Dew. Me? I based it off a necklace I was wearing and a bracelet the instructor was wearing.
I created a character named Boaz. He has an abusive mother and his father committed suicide. He also has autism. His best friend, Priscilla, likes to play music with him since they both play a couple instruments. Boaz tries to be out of the house and away from his mom as much as possible. His favorite places to be are in the park at night when it's quiet, cool, and dark, and the peaceful coffee shop down the street.
As you can see, I wrote a couple morbid things into this character: an abusive parent, a mental handicap, a dead parent, and suicide.
There's another character I have, Ruby, that I've been developing for over a year now, and lemme tell ya, she has quite a tragic story.
She has anxiety, depression, and PTSD. She was conceived by rape so she never knew her father, and her mother died when she was quite young. Not only was she conceived by rape, but she was also sexually and physically abused all throughout college. But there was one major event in Ruby's life that really made me realize how gruesome my writing can be.
I send Ruby's story to my friend, Kiana, because I ain't publishing this story online, but I ain't keeping it to myself neither. Kiana loves it! She also went to Masterpiece this past week and also attended the creative writing workshop.
As the class was sharing about their characters they had created, Kiana brought Ruby up and how relatable she felt Ruby was. But she also brought up the fact that Ruby's child was killed before it was born. Long story short, Ruby was pregnant but got stabbed in the stomach, therefore killing the baby.
When Kiana told the instructor this, the instructor, a published author, gasped and looked at me in horror! Luckily, the conversation turned away from my morbid writing, thus saving me some embarrassment. Now, I'm not saying Kiana embarrassed me, I love the fact that she loves my story so much she wanted to share it! What embarrassed me was the fact that the instructor was disgusted by my story line.
But this got me thinking, "why do I write like this?". Why do I write characters that have attempted suicide? Why do I write characters that have eating disorders? Why do I write characters that are handicapped? Let me tell you.
I know how powerful a fictional character can be. I mean, I'm writing a series on the power of characters and publishing it here on my blog! But I think one of the most powerful aspects of fictional characters, is their ability to make us emotionally connect with them.
Why do we connect with them? Have you been reading my blog posts?! We relate to characters because we see ourselves in them. And that's exactly why I write morbidly. I want someone with autism to read my story and go "hey, they're like me,". I want someone who has had their child die read my story and say, "Wow, she went through that too,". I want someone with depression to read my story and say, "they have hope, so do I,".
I write morbidly, not so I can gross people out or start a national controversy, but so people in bad situations have a character they can look at and say, "wow, they're just like me and they made it out okay, and so will I,". It's to give people with no light, hope.
Now, I don't mean I write emo poetry or suicide notes as a joke, I mean that I write about adult subjects and situations (drugs, abuse, rape, mental illness, death, etc...).
I was at Masterpiece this past week and they had a creative writing mini workshop that I attended. It was just a one-hour class, but I figured it would be an hour of my time well spent.
In this little class, we were focusing on character creation; we were to find an object in the room and quickly base a character off of that item. For example, my friend created a chemist character because of some burlap she saw, another girl wrote an altered timeline story based off a can of Mountain Dew. Me? I based it off a necklace I was wearing and a bracelet the instructor was wearing.
I created a character named Boaz. He has an abusive mother and his father committed suicide. He also has autism. His best friend, Priscilla, likes to play music with him since they both play a couple instruments. Boaz tries to be out of the house and away from his mom as much as possible. His favorite places to be are in the park at night when it's quiet, cool, and dark, and the peaceful coffee shop down the street.
As you can see, I wrote a couple morbid things into this character: an abusive parent, a mental handicap, a dead parent, and suicide.
There's another character I have, Ruby, that I've been developing for over a year now, and lemme tell ya, she has quite a tragic story.
She has anxiety, depression, and PTSD. She was conceived by rape so she never knew her father, and her mother died when she was quite young. Not only was she conceived by rape, but she was also sexually and physically abused all throughout college. But there was one major event in Ruby's life that really made me realize how gruesome my writing can be.
I send Ruby's story to my friend, Kiana, because I ain't publishing this story online, but I ain't keeping it to myself neither. Kiana loves it! She also went to Masterpiece this past week and also attended the creative writing workshop.
As the class was sharing about their characters they had created, Kiana brought Ruby up and how relatable she felt Ruby was. But she also brought up the fact that Ruby's child was killed before it was born. Long story short, Ruby was pregnant but got stabbed in the stomach, therefore killing the baby.
When Kiana told the instructor this, the instructor, a published author, gasped and looked at me in horror! Luckily, the conversation turned away from my morbid writing, thus saving me some embarrassment. Now, I'm not saying Kiana embarrassed me, I love the fact that she loves my story so much she wanted to share it! What embarrassed me was the fact that the instructor was disgusted by my story line.
But this got me thinking, "why do I write like this?". Why do I write characters that have attempted suicide? Why do I write characters that have eating disorders? Why do I write characters that are handicapped? Let me tell you.
I know how powerful a fictional character can be. I mean, I'm writing a series on the power of characters and publishing it here on my blog! But I think one of the most powerful aspects of fictional characters, is their ability to make us emotionally connect with them.
Why do we connect with them? Have you been reading my blog posts?! We relate to characters because we see ourselves in them. And that's exactly why I write morbidly. I want someone with autism to read my story and go "hey, they're like me,". I want someone who has had their child die read my story and say, "Wow, she went through that too,". I want someone with depression to read my story and say, "they have hope, so do I,".
I write morbidly, not so I can gross people out or start a national controversy, but so people in bad situations have a character they can look at and say, "wow, they're just like me and they made it out okay, and so will I,". It's to give people with no light, hope.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
The Power of Characters pt. 2: a look inside
Someone once said, "what you hate in other people, is what you hate in yourself,". Now I have literally no clue who actually said that, but I do know that that phrase is completely true, especially when it comes to least favorite characters.
Draco Malfoy, Tony Stark, JarJar Binks, we all hate them! Or, at least have some general distaste for them. But why? Why do we dislike these fictional people that never existed? Maybe it's because we see a reflection of ourselves in them.
I the first part of this series, I talked about how we like characters because we see ourselves in them, so why am I now saying that relating to a character makes us dislike a character? Well, in protagonists or likable villains, we see positive traits that we have in common with them, we see difficult situations that we see them overcome and think we can do the same thing. But with antagonists or irritating character, we see bad habits turned evil doings, dark paths that cannot be followed back to the light, and dark hearts that cannot be redeemed.
As I said last time, we could be subconsciously projecting a character's life as our own. So, if we see horrible villains with similar traits as ourselves, we could just be thinking we're headed down the same path and are irredeemable.
But, you could also hate an antagonist if they are hurting the protagonist you see yourself in. What you're saying could be, "hey! Stop bullying Harry Potter! He's great!" but what you're really meaning is this: "hey! Stop bullying me! I'm not that bad!". It's an internal longing to be accepted or liked, or to possibly stop being picked on.
What characters do you see the most of yourself in? Are they good or bad? Do you like or hate them? Which character is the most accurate mirror that gives you a look inside?
Draco Malfoy, Tony Stark, JarJar Binks, we all hate them! Or, at least have some general distaste for them. But why? Why do we dislike these fictional people that never existed? Maybe it's because we see a reflection of ourselves in them.
I the first part of this series, I talked about how we like characters because we see ourselves in them, so why am I now saying that relating to a character makes us dislike a character? Well, in protagonists or likable villains, we see positive traits that we have in common with them, we see difficult situations that we see them overcome and think we can do the same thing. But with antagonists or irritating character, we see bad habits turned evil doings, dark paths that cannot be followed back to the light, and dark hearts that cannot be redeemed.
As I said last time, we could be subconsciously projecting a character's life as our own. So, if we see horrible villains with similar traits as ourselves, we could just be thinking we're headed down the same path and are irredeemable.
But, you could also hate an antagonist if they are hurting the protagonist you see yourself in. What you're saying could be, "hey! Stop bullying Harry Potter! He's great!" but what you're really meaning is this: "hey! Stop bullying me! I'm not that bad!". It's an internal longing to be accepted or liked, or to possibly stop being picked on.
What characters do you see the most of yourself in? Are they good or bad? Do you like or hate them? Which character is the most accurate mirror that gives you a look inside?
Monday, June 5, 2017
This really irks me: what men and women can't do
Okay, we all know that men and women have been fighting for equal rights among the genders (whether it be in a good or bad way). But, even with all the protests, petitions, and progress we've made over the decades, there are still many injustices when it comes to gender equality, against both men and women.
"What? Men don't experience any gender inequalities!" Ha! That's where you're wrong! Not to mention, saying that a man doesn't experience inequality because he's a man, is indeed sexist.
Anyway, there are many inequalities both genders experience, but there are two that really irk me...
WOMEN ARE ALMOST REQUIRED TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES TO LOOK "SEXY"
Okay, look at this picture (yes, I am very aware that is Sebastian Stan, get over it). Anyway, it's just a dude, in a bathtub, fully clothed and he STILL LOOKS SEXY! If a woman did this, she'd be called ridiculous or crazy. Honestly, I think this is extremely unfair. Most of the time, girls have to strip half-naked to be called "sexy" while men usually don't. I think it would be just super if women could sit in bathtubs fully clothed and be drooled over.
MEN ARE CONSIDERED "WIMPS" IF THEY EXPRESS THEMSELVES EMOTIONALLY
A lot of the time men are not allowed to cry because that makes them "less masculine". No, no it doesn't, it makes you human.
I find it very sad that men can't just let go, have a good cry, then feel better afterward. They have to keep it in, bottle it up, and save face just so they aren't made fun of.
men can't even say "I love you" to their best friend, their brotha from anotha motha without being called gay or having to blatantly say "no homo".
LET MEN CRY!
"What? Men don't experience any gender inequalities!" Ha! That's where you're wrong! Not to mention, saying that a man doesn't experience inequality because he's a man, is indeed sexist.
Anyway, there are many inequalities both genders experience, but there are two that really irk me...
WOMEN ARE ALMOST REQUIRED TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES TO LOOK "SEXY"
Okay, look at this picture (yes, I am very aware that is Sebastian Stan, get over it). Anyway, it's just a dude, in a bathtub, fully clothed and he STILL LOOKS SEXY! If a woman did this, she'd be called ridiculous or crazy. Honestly, I think this is extremely unfair. Most of the time, girls have to strip half-naked to be called "sexy" while men usually don't. I think it would be just super if women could sit in bathtubs fully clothed and be drooled over.
MEN ARE CONSIDERED "WIMPS" IF THEY EXPRESS THEMSELVES EMOTIONALLY
I find it very sad that men can't just let go, have a good cry, then feel better afterward. They have to keep it in, bottle it up, and save face just so they aren't made fun of.
men can't even say "I love you" to their best friend, their brotha from anotha motha without being called gay or having to blatantly say "no homo".
LET MEN CRY!
Friday, May 19, 2017
This week in History: Black lipstick
The following events took place on 4/19/2017
Guys, I just realized something. The school year ends in two weeks for me, that means, I won't have any TWIH posts for the whole summer! I'm gonna miss Dr. Parker... but, at least I will be free from homework!
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY!!! *please read in announcer's voice*
TOPIC ONE: In between classes, there is a five-minute transition period so the students can pack up then move to the next class. This is usually when Dr. Parker and his students chat and tell weird or funny stories. This week, Dr. Parker was telling us about this one time when he was on a plane and a lady walked up to him, asking to switch seats. He said that the woman told him that there was a mix-up with the seating and that she wanted to sit next to her cousin. Being the gentlemen that he is, Dr. Parker traded seats with her. But, turns out, she wasn't switching to sit with her family, no. She was switching so she didn't have to sit next to this one guy with horrible B.O. for a four-hour plane ride (I don't remember if that's how long the flight was, but I know it was a long time). So this woman totally jipped Dr. parker into sitting with this gross-smelling guy for an entire plane trip.
I said that, if you wear black lipstick, people wouldn't talk to you because they find you intimidating. So, to have a good laugh, Dr. Parker asked, "so I should start wearing black lipstick?". The whole class died laughing. He even suggested that I turn that into a blog post: "hacks on how to avoid people. #1. Wear black lipstick". But, instead of doing that, I think I'll tell a semi-embarrassing story about me and lipstick that I know Dr. Parker will like.
TOPC TWO: Right before Spring break, I went on vacation to Alabama for a week with my friend. It was pretty awesome! Our rental house was right on a private beach and we had a great view of the ocean!
On, Thursday or Friday, we drove up to the USS Alabama. The USS Alabama is a WWII battleship turned museum/ national park in Mobile. It was AWESOME! Now, that day, I knew we were going to a WWII museum, so I dressed for the occasion. I had a red bandana tied in my hair, wore my Captain America t-shirt (it seemed apropriate), and I dawned a cute pin-up girl makeup look; winged eyeliner and, the ever classic, red lipstick.
After we finished exploring the ship, my friend and I decided to look at the other things the park had on display, one of the exhibits being a submarine. I don't remember what the sub was called, but I do know it was also from WWII.
We went inside the sub, exploring all the buttons and gadgets inside. We also marveled at how small the little living quarters were. Near the end of the sub, I noticed my lipstick was coming off and fading. We were standing in one of the larger living quarters, so there was a mirror right behind me. So, I turned around and re-applied my lipstick in the mirror of a WWII submarine. How many people can say that?! Not many, because most people would know that doing your makeup in a submarine is pretty stupid.
Guys, I just realized something. The school year ends in two weeks for me, that means, I won't have any TWIH posts for the whole summer! I'm gonna miss Dr. Parker... but, at least I will be free from homework!
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY!!! *please read in announcer's voice*
TOPIC ONE: In between classes, there is a five-minute transition period so the students can pack up then move to the next class. This is usually when Dr. Parker and his students chat and tell weird or funny stories. This week, Dr. Parker was telling us about this one time when he was on a plane and a lady walked up to him, asking to switch seats. He said that the woman told him that there was a mix-up with the seating and that she wanted to sit next to her cousin. Being the gentlemen that he is, Dr. Parker traded seats with her. But, turns out, she wasn't switching to sit with her family, no. She was switching so she didn't have to sit next to this one guy with horrible B.O. for a four-hour plane ride (I don't remember if that's how long the flight was, but I know it was a long time). So this woman totally jipped Dr. parker into sitting with this gross-smelling guy for an entire plane trip.
I said that, if you wear black lipstick, people wouldn't talk to you because they find you intimidating. So, to have a good laugh, Dr. Parker asked, "so I should start wearing black lipstick?". The whole class died laughing. He even suggested that I turn that into a blog post: "hacks on how to avoid people. #1. Wear black lipstick". But, instead of doing that, I think I'll tell a semi-embarrassing story about me and lipstick that I know Dr. Parker will like.
TOPC TWO: Right before Spring break, I went on vacation to Alabama for a week with my friend. It was pretty awesome! Our rental house was right on a private beach and we had a great view of the ocean!On, Thursday or Friday, we drove up to the USS Alabama. The USS Alabama is a WWII battleship turned museum/ national park in Mobile. It was AWESOME! Now, that day, I knew we were going to a WWII museum, so I dressed for the occasion. I had a red bandana tied in my hair, wore my Captain America t-shirt (it seemed apropriate), and I dawned a cute pin-up girl makeup look; winged eyeliner and, the ever classic, red lipstick.
After we finished exploring the ship, my friend and I decided to look at the other things the park had on display, one of the exhibits being a submarine. I don't remember what the sub was called, but I do know it was also from WWII.
We went inside the sub, exploring all the buttons and gadgets inside. We also marveled at how small the little living quarters were. Near the end of the sub, I noticed my lipstick was coming off and fading. We were standing in one of the larger living quarters, so there was a mirror right behind me. So, I turned around and re-applied my lipstick in the mirror of a WWII submarine. How many people can say that?! Not many, because most people would know that doing your makeup in a submarine is pretty stupid.
Friday, April 28, 2017
The Power of Characters pt.1: R.I.P Steve Rogers
So! As you have probably figured out, I am a huge Captain America fan! And, you may have also gathered from various set photos, raging fangirls (me), and internet articles, THE NEXT AVENGERS MOVIE IS COMING OUT!!! Yes, Avengers Infinity War will be coming out in May of 2018! I am very excited! .... except for one thing... In the comics, Steve Rogers DIES. Yes, you heard me right, Captain America, the Star Spangled Man, the First Avenger, DIES. This means that it is more than likely that Cap will die by the end of the new movie. And, to be completely honest with you all, I'm not emotionally ready for that.
I've barely even been in the whole Marvel fandom for a year and I'm already being threatened with the death of one of my favorite characters! But this over dramatic crisis got me thinking, 'why am I so riled up by the death of someone- who doesn't even exist?'. I'm a writer (obviously) and I can understand someone being upset over the death or misfortune of a character they relate to, but an all-out existential crisis? That seems a bit much.
Characters are created with the intention of getting the reader/ viewer to root for them, want them to win, and/ or be happy, and often times writers do this by making their characters relatable. In order to do this, characters are given flaws. Those flaws may be physical, mental, or a part of their personality. For example, Steve Rogers. He is a WWII veteran so he suffers depression, anxiety, and PTSD. These are all mental flaws. He also deals with vices such as pride and stubbornness. Those are personality flaws. And, pre-serum Steve was short and bony; physical flaws. Now, even with all of these flaws millions of people still adore Captain America! Why is that? Because they can relate to him! They might also like him because they feel they can relate to his situation; feeling out of place, battling with old vs. new morals, losing loved ones, etc. So really, when we like a character, we like them because they are like us.
From this, we may conclude that our emotional disturbance when a character suffers is caused by our emotional relation to them. Taking a much deeper and philosophical look into this, does this mean when we see something happen to a character we love, that we fear we will suffer the same fate? What I'm trying to get at is that we might not be overreacting to the death or misfortune of a beloved character, we could just be subconsciously fearing for our own lives and futures. Think about it, doesn't it make sense? So, when I'm scared to say, 'R.I.P Steve Rogers', maybe, in deep down, I'm just scared to say, 'R.I.P Ary'...
I've barely even been in the whole Marvel fandom for a year and I'm already being threatened with the death of one of my favorite characters! But this over dramatic crisis got me thinking, 'why am I so riled up by the death of someone- who doesn't even exist?'. I'm a writer (obviously) and I can understand someone being upset over the death or misfortune of a character they relate to, but an all-out existential crisis? That seems a bit much.
Characters are created with the intention of getting the reader/ viewer to root for them, want them to win, and/ or be happy, and often times writers do this by making their characters relatable. In order to do this, characters are given flaws. Those flaws may be physical, mental, or a part of their personality. For example, Steve Rogers. He is a WWII veteran so he suffers depression, anxiety, and PTSD. These are all mental flaws. He also deals with vices such as pride and stubbornness. Those are personality flaws. And, pre-serum Steve was short and bony; physical flaws. Now, even with all of these flaws millions of people still adore Captain America! Why is that? Because they can relate to him! They might also like him because they feel they can relate to his situation; feeling out of place, battling with old vs. new morals, losing loved ones, etc. So really, when we like a character, we like them because they are like us.
From this, we may conclude that our emotional disturbance when a character suffers is caused by our emotional relation to them. Taking a much deeper and philosophical look into this, does this mean when we see something happen to a character we love, that we fear we will suffer the same fate? What I'm trying to get at is that we might not be overreacting to the death or misfortune of a beloved character, we could just be subconsciously fearing for our own lives and futures. Think about it, doesn't it make sense? So, when I'm scared to say, 'R.I.P Steve Rogers', maybe, in deep down, I'm just scared to say, 'R.I.P Ary'...
Friday, April 21, 2017
How to: become comfortable in your own skin
We all know life is diverse; different heights, different ethnicities, and especially different body types. But, apparently, the world thinks that these different body types are... bad. Fat shaming, photoshopped models, the many, many jokes and insults we've all heard, all because we are a human and not a manufactured Barbie/ Ken doll. All of this makes it pretty hard to be confident and happy when you're not a Victoria Secret or Calvin Klein model. But, I say this needs to change, we all need to feel comfortable in our wonderful, diverse bodies and I'm going to help with that.
Before I begin, I just want to put out the disclaimer that I am not a doctor or a psychologist or anything like that, just a girl who's learning to love her body and wants to help others as well. Also, I'm not condoning eating disorders or obesity. If you have a problem with abusing food in any way you should seek help from a professional. This is not a post about how to diagnose or evaluate yourself, just a post about gaining confidence. Now that I've said that, on to the advice!
A lot of websites and articles will tell you to maybe try wearing lingerie everywhere or have more sex, but I'm not going to tell you that. No, I'm going to tell you how to gain confidence in your awesome body modestly. Here we go!
#1 FIND AN OUTFIT YOU FEEL YOU LOOK GOOD IN
As a plus sized teen, I have learned how important this is. I personally feel really good when I wear a mix a casual and nicer clothes. I have this one blue sundress I wear with a red lumberjack flannel! I feel awesome when I wear it! Now, you may feel cool in nicer, preppy clothes or maybe punk rocker clothes, whatever you feel nice in (while still being modest). And don't go over to your dresser and pull out a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants so you can hide your body. We are not hiding our bodies, we are complimenting them with our clothing.
#2 TAKE BABY STEPS IN TAKING RISKS
Wear tank tops, wear bolder colors, wear horizontal stripes, wear vertical stripes, wear shorts, anything to get you out of your comfort zone. We all know that we aren't going to feel 100% confident in our bodies overnight, we won't go from 0 to 60 that quick. Instead, we'll take little risks more often and feel more comfortable in those risks. For example, I usually don't like wearing short sleeves, I hate showing off my arms. But, that all changed when I went to homecoming with my friend last September.
I had to wear a nice dress, and I didn't have any suitable dresses then, so, I borrowed one. Problem was, it was sleeveless! So, to avoid showing my arms, I wore a black shawl over the dress. But, the shawl made it really hard to dance without it getting in the way. So I had to make a decision; fun, comfortable dancing, or, cover my 'undesirable' arms. I chose the former. And guess what? I didn't care that my arms were showing! I had a great time! It was a baby step in becoming more confident.
I had to wear a nice dress, and I didn't have any suitable dresses then, so, I borrowed one. Problem was, it was sleeveless! So, to avoid showing my arms, I wore a black shawl over the dress. But, the shawl made it really hard to dance without it getting in the way. So I had to make a decision; fun, comfortable dancing, or, cover my 'undesirable' arms. I chose the former. And guess what? I didn't care that my arms were showing! I had a great time! It was a baby step in becoming more confident.
#3 KNOW THAT YOUR WEIGHT ISN’T ALWAYS A SCALE ON HOW HEALTHY YOU ARE
There are plenty of heavier set people who are perfectly healthy, they are just heavier. There are plenty of skinny people who are healthy, they are just thinner. There are lots of people who uphold the cultural standard of beauty and are unhealthy, they just uphold society's standard of good looks. Unless a doctor says you need to lose/ gain weight, you are probably fine. But, if your legs can't hold your own body up or you look like a six-foot-tall lower case 'i', you might want to consider changing your eating habits to control your weight. But, unless that's the case, you are fine until a doctor disagrees.
#4 BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER
Recognize what you do well instead of focusing on all of the negative. You ate a salad instead of a burger today? Good job! You took the stairs instead of the elevator? Awesome! You beat your old time for running a mile? Way to go! Push yourself to do better (within reason, don't push yourself beyond the breaking point) and recognize your progress. It's not prideful to know you did well at something.
#5 YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE
The literal God of the universe created you and your cool, unique body! He gave you your thick thighs, He gave you your small frame, He gave you your cool double joins, He gave you your big feet, He made you with love and care and he is so proud of his special creation!
Again, guys, I am no professional and if you need help, seek it from someone who can really help you. And I'm not saying that the abuse of food is good, that is very, very bad and should be addressed by a professional. But, please be confident in and love yourself and the vessel you're occupying, because your body loves you.
Remember, I love you, GOD loves you, and you look awesome!
Over and out,
<3 Ary
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