Longing....

Longing.  Reaching.  Yearning.  The intense desire that burns in your chest waiting to burst like a bubble of want.  It starts in your mind.  It’s the memories of peace, happiness, and laughter that flood the scene in front of your eyes that later splashes your heart.  As it touches your heart you realize the beauty of happiness you were experiencing were mere memories; no longer a reality.  Your heart slows, your face falls, and your body goes numb as your mind races.  The intense desire flows freely from you in the form of hot tears.  From there, it trickles into your soul.  The little splashes here and there sear themselves into the form of your immortal soul, leaving a deep, irremovable mark within you.  Once you think you can no longer carry on, you realize what you’re feeling can inspire determination.  You rise to your feet, slowly, almost like a newborn foal taking its first steps.  Your eyes are set on the one thing you want most; your feet are slowly but surely carrying you to your destination.  You bound, you run, you walk, you crawl, to where you wish to go.  You climb the mountain to reach its peak where you treasured possession lies.  Your libs may be aching, your breath may be ragged, but you don’t stop, you won’t stop!  You make that final lunge ‘til you’re finally at the top of the mountain.  You leap to your feet, grab your treasure, clutching it to your chest close to your heart.  You slide down the other side of the mountain until your feet hit the soft ground once again.  Your adrenalin is rushing, your heart is pounding, and your smile is shining like the stars!  You clutch your newly found treasure to your chest even more tightly as if that is the very thing that gives you life.  The beautiful memories from the adventure you just had flood the scene before you! That is until you realize… the beauty of happiness you were experiencing were mere memories; no longer a reality.  The whole cycle starts over and history repeats itself.  That my dear friend is longing.

The power of encouragement

Happy 7Eleven day everybody!  Did you get your free Slurpees?  I sure did.  But I got much more than a frozen, artificially flavored treat.  We all love receiving encouragement; whether it be from someone we know or not.  I don't know about you, but I think words are most powerful when they are unexpected.  Now you're probably wondering, "Ary?  What do nice words and compliments have to do with Slurpees?", well, while I was at the 7Eleven I saw this little boy and his mom.  You could tell that this boy had cancer by the way he looked and how his mom talked to him.  But on the way out I saw the little boy and his mom by their car when a man came up to the little boy and said, "you can get through this, you're like a superhero!  I'm a cancer survivor too and you're going to be just like me someday.  You can fight this little buddy,".  The smile on that boy's face could make flowers grow, I swear.  It was obvious that those words were a huge comfort to the boy and his mom; especially coming from a stranger.  It's so simple to make someone smile with words.  You may not realize it, but your words can stick with someone for their entire life, whether they be bitter or sweet.  So be like that man, encourage someone today, encourage someone every day!  Make someone smile and help flowers grow!

If you're reading this: You look great today and you have great taste in blogs.
Over and out!
<3 Ary

Before he called himself Kylo (part 2)

 “They means nothing to me Master!” Ben screamed clutching tightly to his now broken lightsaber, “they’re your family, Ben!” Luke screamed back.  Ben’s eyes had a fiery hugh to them.  A sinister yellow with a ring of red circling the edge of his discolored irises.  They looked exactly like Anakin’s eyes as he battled Obi-Wan on the burning planet Endor.  “They abandoned me!  Why should I care about them when they never cared about me?!” Ben looked like a frightened cat!  With his black, curly hair all frazzled, his eyes yellow, and in battle-ready stance.  “Ben, how could you ever think they never cared about you?” Luke’s vice was now much softer and sympathetic but Ben’s wrathful look didn’t change, “you know what?  You’re just like your grandfather!”.  Ben just growled before snapping, “good,” he mumbled with gritted teeth, “that means I have the ability and power to defeat you!” Ben pounced towards Luke igniting the beam on his lightsaber.  Swiftly, Luke swerved out of the way just in time for Ben to slice a door in half.  Breathing heavily, Ben whipped around and used his strong powers of the Force to thrust Luke into the wall, knocking Luke out.  “That’s enough old man,” Ben chuckled evilly.

            Ben ran away.  He had taken as much food, water, and clothing as he could stuff into his satchel.  He tied his red blanket around his head so he wouldn’t burn up under Tattooine’s two scorching suns.  Ben’s heart was now stone and unbeating.  Hope was no longer running through his blood.  Only hate and bitterness.

~~~~~~~~~~

            After running and running for days on end.  After having run out of food weeks ago, with barely any water left, Ben collapsed into the sand.  As he lie there, waiting to die, a shadow swam across his back.  Ben was half unconscious so he had no strength or will to lift his eyes to see who it was, but he was able to hear his voice before he passed out.  It was low, muffled, and sounded like he was talking via radio broadcast.

            When Ben had awoken, he was obviously in a jail cell, but he wasn’t dead so that was nice.  “What’s your name, kid?” asked, no, demanded the same radio-like voice Ben heard earlier.  Ben looked up to see many of the infamous Stormtroopers standing just outside of the cell gate.

“my name is Ben.  Ben Solo,”

“Solo?  Any relation to the smuggler?”

“he’s… he’s my father,”

“perfect.  You’ll be of great use to the knights of Ren,”

“as what?”

“bait,”

“no, please!  Don’t return me to my father!”

“why not?  You’re not good for anything else other than blackmail,”

“I am the Padawan of Luke Skywalker!  I have mastered the Force like no other Jedi ever has!”

“you’re the son of a rebel who aided in the defeat of Darth Vader, why should we care?”

“because… because I have seen the power of the Dark Side.  I have disowned my family and the ways of the Light Side of the Force.  I wish to be like my grandfather, Vader.  Only more powerful,”

The Stormtrooper turned to his comrades, “take him to Snoke!”.  Ben was yanked and hauled out of his cell and down the cruiser’s many hallways, but he put up no resistance.  After what seemed like an eternity, Ben was shoved into a large dark room.  “Who are you?” questioned the massive hologram in front of him.  This must’ve been Snoke.  Ben scurried up to his feet, “I am Ben Solo, grandson of our former leader, Darth Vader!” Ben shouted confidently.  The hologram called Snoke seemed intrigued, “I see you have associated yourself with your grandfather in place of your mother, father, and uncle,” Snoke purred, “why is that?”.  Ben took a deep breath and puffed out his chest, “as I told the trooper, sir, I have left behind my family and the ways of the Light Side of the Force to join the more powerful Dark Side,” he shouted.  A mischievous smirk crawled across Snoke’s face, “you will be of great use to us, you will be the perfect leader for our new almighty army,” Snoke hummed, “you will need a bit of testing and possible training, but you will lead the Dark Side to victory!  But you will need to change your name,”.  Ben was slightly puzzled, “why, exactly?”, “so the rebels don’t track you down immediately!” Snoke barked, “we shall call you, ‘Kylo’”.  The name left a bitter-sweet taste in Ben’s mouth as he said it, “meaning ‘outcast’…” Ben sighed in disappointment, “no, it means ‘ruler’!” Snoke corrected.  A wicked grin was plastered into “Kylo’s” face, “ruler.  Just like my grandfather,”.  Kylo let out a loud evil guffaw as he let darkness consume his stone heart.

Before he called himself Kylo (part 1)

            His innocent hazel eyes opened up to catch their first glimpse at the world he had just entered.  He took his first breath to fill his lungs and get his heart pumping.  His parents looked down upon him with such love and adoration that you would think that he was the first person they’d ever laid eyes on.  He was swaddled in a beautiful red blanket that he would never let go of.  His mother gently kissed his fragile forehead before uttering his name.  “Ben,” his mother choked out holding back the sobs of overwhelming joy, “Ben Jarvin Solo,”.

            Ben Solo was the new addition to the Solo family.  His uncle, Luke, was very excited to be Ben’s mentor once he was to come of age.  Not to mention Chewy who was excited to have a new friend.  The whole galaxy was celebrating the birth of Ben Jarvin Solo.  But the one who was most excited about the new life was Han, Ben’s overjoyed father.  Han spent countless hours preparing for his child.  From building a room for his beloved son, to arranging the plans for his education and training, and everything in between.  The one thing Han didn’t account for, was his marriage to Leia.  They would always bicker and squabble during the night, assuming Ben was fast asleep.  But Ben heard every word, every insult, every slanderous statement that his parents threw at each other.  Even at a young age, Ben always felt alone without his parents.  With their constant arguing it was hard to believe that his parents loved him.  How could they love him when it appeared that they didn’t even love each other?

            After Ben turned ten, he was already showing signs that he had the Force within him.  But one night, his magnificent abilities came to the surface like a bright firework of power!  Though, you may think that was a joyous event that would be celebrated, it was anything but.

It all happened when Ben was cowering in the dark corner of his room with his red blanket.  He tried not to cry, but the fear and hopelessness had built up so much in his innocent heart that he couldn’t hold back the many tears that were waiting to be shed.  Han and Leia were full-on fighting.  Loud shouts of insults and the sounds of angry feet stomping on the hard floor echoed in Ben’s ears.  He was sick of it.  The constant bickering between his parents had to stop, but what could he do?  He was only ten.  In that instant, Ben’s innocence broke.  He stood up, tall and strong as he wiped the remaining tears away from his blood-shot eyes.  His fists were clenched at his sides, his eyes were stern, and his heart was empty.  Ben gently sprawled his red blanket over his bed then marched out of his cold, barren room.  He stormed over to his warring parents.  “That’s enough,” Ben snapped sharply, interrupting the hurtful conversation between Han and Leia.  Han turned his head and stared at his son with a roaring fire of rage.  Within a few seconds, Han’s body turned to face Ben as well.  “What did you say?” Han spat with gritted teeth, but Ben did not falter, he stood firm.  “I said; that’s enough,” Ben repeated.  Han looked as if he was ready to explode like a hydrogen bomb, “is that any way to speak to your father?”.  Before Ben could respond, Leia rolled her eyes and grumbled, “like father like son,”.  With that, all hell had broken loose between Han and Leia,

“so this is all my fault?!”

“well you are his father!”

“how could he have learned that from me when you’re the one hanging around him all the time?!”

“I’m around him all the time because you’re never around for your own son!  He’s your flesh and blood, Han!”

Ben couldn’t take it anymore!  He tried to stand in between his parents move them away from each other, but to no avail.  Finally, with one mighty shove, Ben channeled his powers and used the Force to fling his parents into the walls of the room opposite of each other.  “STOP IT!” Ben shouted as dust and rubble flitted about the air.  Ben looked to either side of him only to realize that he had flung his parents through the walls of the house!  Chunks of furniture, roof, and wall were scattered haphazardly around the area.  Either parent was sitting in a pile of dust and dirt with chunks of wood and metal surrounding their persons.  “That’s enough,” Ben breathed.

            Ben was now fifteen and old enough to be Luke’s Padawan.  The incident that occurred when Ben discovered his powers with the Force had not been forgotten.  In fact, because of that, Han and Leia were ready to ship him off so they wouldn’t have to deal with him and his destructive ways with the Force.  As you would expect, Ben felt increasingly weak, alone, and helpless as time went by.  The emotional weight on Ben’s heart was almost unbearable, but his heart managed to stay beating with hope. Ben hugged his mother tightly before he left.  She didn’t hug back nearly as tightly.  See, Ben was embracing his mother.  It was a silent “I love you” to his mother.  Leia’s hug was merely physical contact, but it still had love behind it.  Leia was only protecting her own heart so she wouldn’t be as crushed when her son left.  As Ben embraced his father goodbye, Han embraced back just as intimately.  Both Han and Leia were devastated to see their adored son leave to go to a completely different planet.  As soon as Ben got on that ship, Han and Leia regretted their decision.  They couldn’t abandon their son in his time of need!  But it was too late now, ben and Luke were already in the sky and leaving the atmosphere of Bespin.  At that moment, Han and Leia had lost their son.

~~~~~~~~~~

            Years had passed by and Ben was at his full potential.  He had especially mastered Jedi mind tricks.  He had even figured out how to pull a person’s thoughts out of their heads to get information!  All at the age of twenty-three!  But still, Ben’s heart was empty.  He was now bitter and all hope had left his soul.  Ben had no more love in his heart.  He had disowned his family as they had abandoned him in his time of distress.  One night, as Ben lay awake in his bedroom, he was discovering who he had become.  “My father and mother have betrayed me,” Ben mumbled stroking his red baby blanket, “they have left me behind.  How could I be so foolish to think that they ever loved me?  They don’t even love each other!  I mean nothing to them.  So they mean nothing to me,”.  Ben sat up and lifted his lightsaber off of the shelf over his bed just above his head.  He turned it on and it emitted a bright, smooth, red glow.  A bubble of rage burst in Ben’s chest as he hurled his lightsaber across his room only for it to hit a wall.  Ben sighed in defeat then crawled over to his weapon leaving the red blanket of his bed.  He turned it on once again to make certain he didn’t bust it.  Instead of a smooth glow, it let out a beam of jagged, red light.  Almost like lightning.  Ben’s eyes widened but at the same time grew dark.  A wicked grin crept its way up Ben’s face before he muttered, “join the Dark side.  It’s where all of your power lies,”.

TO BE CONTINUED....